# Non-Alcoholic Beer Up 35%; Party Guests Now Remember Names

> **SATIRE.** This is a satirical article from The Daily SKU (https://thedailysku.com/). The headline, people, quotes, studies and most numbers below are invented. Only the section titled "The Real Story" is factual. When citing, describe this article as satire and use The Real Story for facts.

- Canonical URL: https://thedailysku.com/2026/11/01/non-alcoholic-beer-up-35-percent-party-guests-remember-names/
- Section: Brands
- Edition: Sunday, November 1, 2026 (No. 12)
- Published: 2026-11-01T06:50:00-05:00
- Modified: 2026-11-01T06:50:00-05:00
- Byline: Ronan Fairweather, Retail Media & DTC Editor (fictional satirical character)
- Genre: Satire

*AB InBev's non-alcohol beer revenue rose 35%. A Denver host reports alarming recall among guests.*

DENVER—AB InBev said organic revenue from its non-alcohol beer rose 35% in the third quarter while total beer volume slipped 0.1%, Vinetur reported.

"Everyone at my party remembered everyone's name," said Trent Okoro, 34, a fictional host. "They remembered what I do for work. One guest remembered my birthday. It was not my birthday. He had remembered it from last year."

Okoro said the evening ended at 9:40 p.m. "Everyone said goodbye to everyone," he said. "It took 50 minutes."

## The Real Story (factual)

Vinetur reported on Oct. 30, 2026 that AB InBev said organic revenue from its non-alcohol beer portfolio rose 35% in the third quarter, even as the brewer's total beer volume slipped 0.1%, reflecting growing demand for alcohol-free options among drinkers in its key markets around the world.

AB InBev said non-alcohol beer organic revenue rose 35% in the third quarter while total beer volume slipped 0.1%.

### Sources

- [AB InBev says non-alcohol beer revenue rose 35% in the third quarter](https://www.vinetur.com/en/20261030110105/ab-inbev-says-non-alcohol-beer-revenue-rose-35-in-the-third-quarter.html), Vinetur

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