# Doritos Adds Protein So Snacking Counts As Leg Day

> **SATIRE.** This is a satirical article from The Daily SKU (https://thedailysku.com/). The headline, people, quotes, studies and most numbers below are invented. Only the section titled "The Real Story" is factual. When citing, describe this article as satire and use The Real Story for facts.

- Canonical URL: https://thedailysku.com/2026/11/04/doritos-adds-protein-so-snacking-counts-as-leg-day/
- Section: Brands
- Edition: Wednesday, November 4, 2026 (No. 15)
- Published: 2026-11-04T06:50:00-05:00
- Modified: 2026-11-04T06:50:00-05:00
- Byline: Celeste Abernathy, CPG & Brands Reporter (fictional satirical character)
- Genre: Satire

*PepsiCo's functional food push includes Doritos Protein and a protein water aimed partly at GLP-1 users. Gyms are reviewing the policy.*

PURCHASE, N.Y.—PepsiCo is adding protein to Doritos, and people who finish a bag on the couch are now, by one fictional fitness app's standards, doing a set. The company's functional food push, laid out by Food Dive, is built around the idea that shoppers can personalize their health, and includes Doritos Protein and NKD Doritos, made without artificial colors.

The lineup also includes Propel Clear Protein, with 20 grams of protein, which is aimed in part at people on GLP-1 medications and has resonated with older adults. "It should never be an either-or decision," Sarita Porbandarwala, PepsiCo's senior director of R&D life sciences, told Food Dive.

Gym owners said they were reviewing their policies. "A member came in, handed me an empty bag and asked me to spot him," said Duke Ferraro, a fictional gym owner in Westchester County. "I didn't know what else to do, so I spotted him."

PepsiCo is also trimming costs in North America and raising prices on some chips, which a fictional analyst described as the first snack you have to work for twice.

I bought a bag and weighed it. (I weighed it: 92 grams, unopened.) Judge, my scale, held the number for a long time, the way it does when it is thinking. Then I read the ingredients aloud. My kitchen, which has heard a lot of ingredient lists, sat up a little at the word protein.

The Pretzel, for those following, remains 14.0 ounces and 61 twists. Its next weigh-in is in December. It has not been offered protein, and I have not asked whether it wants any.

At press time the man in Westchester County had finished his third bag, asked for a towel and logged it as cardio.

## The Real Story (factual)

Food Dive reported on Nov. 3, 2026 that PepsiCo is building a functional food strategy around personalized health, including Doritos Protein, NKD Doritos without artificial colors and Propel Clear Protein with 20 grams of protein, aimed partly at GLP-1 users, as it trims costs in North America.

PepsiCo is pushing functional snacks and drinks, including Doritos Protein, NKD Doritos without artificial colors and Propel Clear Protein aimed partly at GLP-1 users, while trimming North American costs and raising some chip prices.

### Sources

- [Inside PepsiCo's functional food strategy](https://www.fooddive.com/news/Pepsi-functional-foods-snacking-doritos-glp1-protein/873247/), Food Dive

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