# Wayfair Grows 9.7% As Nation Buys Smaller Ottomans

> **SATIRE.** This is a satirical article from The Daily SKU (https://thedailysku.com/). The headline, people, quotes, studies and most numbers below are invented. Only the section titled "The Real Story" is factual. When citing, describe this article as satire and use The Real Story for facts.

- Canonical URL: https://thedailysku.com/2026/11/05/wayfair-grows-9-7-percent-nation-buys-smaller-ottomans/
- Section: E-Commerce
- Edition: Thursday, November 5, 2026 (No. 16)
- Published: 2026-11-05T06:50:00-05:00
- Modified: 2026-11-05T06:50:00-05:00
- Byline: Dashiell Okafor, Marketplaces Correspondent (fictional satirical character)
- Genre: Satire

*Revenue rose 9.7% to $3.4 billion as active customers grew and order size shrank slightly. The ottomans are fine. They are just smaller.*

BOSTON—Wayfair reported its strongest quarter of growth since the pandemic, Retail Dive reported, with third-quarter revenue up 9.7% to $3.4 billion, U.S. revenue up more than 11% to $3 billion, and a net income of $62 million after a $99 million loss a year earlier. Active customers rose 4.7% to 22.2 million. Orders delivered rose 12.2%. Average order value dipped slightly.

Analysts read the last line closely. Shoppers are putting off large remodels and taking on smaller projects, according to a GlobalData analyst quoted by Retail Dive. In practical terms, fictional, the nation has stopped buying kitchens and started buying ottomans, and the ottomans are getting smaller.

"The ottoman is the new kitchen," said Bettina Grawe-Sloane, a fictional home furnishings analyst. "It is something to put your feet on while you think about the kitchen."

> The ottoman is the new kitchen. It is something to put your feet on while you think about the kitchen.

Wayfair grew its customer base without much more advertising. Ad spend rose 2.4% and fell to 9.9% of revenue from 10.6%. Its stores, including one in the Chicago area where more than half of shoppers are new to the brand, are helping. A fictional shopper in Wilmette said she went in for a throw pillow and left with a smaller throw pillow.

A seller I trust, posting on a furniture marketplace forum at 3:52 a.m., reported that her best seller this quarter was a 14-inch round ottoman. Her second best seller was a 12-inch round ottoman. "The 10-inch is coming," she wrote at 3:54. "I can feel it."

I asked marketplace support whether smaller items rank better in search. The automated reply thanked me for my patience and recommended a nesting table.

At press time Wayfair was expected to keep taking share in a roughly flat category, and one fictional living room in Columbus, Ohio, held four ottomans and no couch.

## The Real Story (factual)

Retail Dive reported on Nov. 4, 2026 that Wayfair posted its strongest quarter of growth since the pandemic: third-quarter revenue rose 9.7% to $3.4 billion, U.S. revenue rose over 11%, net income was $62 million versus a $99 million loss, and active customers grew 4.7% to 22.2 million.

Wayfair's third-quarter revenue rose 9.7% to $3.4 billion, with U.S. revenue up more than 11%, a $62 million net profit versus a $99 million loss, active customers up 4.7% to 22.2 million and orders up 12.2%, while average order value dipped slightly.

### Sources

- [Wayfair notches 'strongest quarter of growth' since the pandemic](https://www.retaildive.com/news/wayfair-strongest-quarter-since-pandemic/873740/), Retail Dive

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The Daily SKU is satire. Headlines and stories riff on real e-commerce, CPG and retail news, but the people, quotes, studies, surveys and most numbers are invented. No real person’s words are made up here. Each article ends with a factual “The Real Story” box and a “Riffing on” line linking the genuine reporting. Not investment advice. Not any kind of advice.