# Outlet Store Begins Charging Full Price, Remains Outlet > **SATIRE.** This is a satirical article from The Daily SKU (https://thedailysku.com/). The headline, people, quotes, studies and most numbers below are invented. Only the section titled "The Real Story" is factual. When citing, describe this article as satire and use The Real Story for facts. - Canonical URL: https://thedailysku.com/2026/11/09/outlet-store-begins-charging-full-price-remains-outlet/ - Section: Retail - Edition: Monday, November 9, 2026 (No. 20) - Published: 2026-11-09T06:50:00-05:00 - Modified: 2026-11-09T06:50:00-05:00 - Byline: Marjorie Pell, Retail Correspondent (fictional satirical character) - Genre: Satire *Under Armour plans to add more full-price product to its outlet stores. At one fictional outlet mall, the bargain bin has been promoted.* GRAPEVINE, Texas—Under Armour plans to add more full-price product to its outlet stores, Retail Dive reported, as part of a store revamp meant to strengthen the brand's premium positioning. At a fictional outlet mall off Interstate 35, shoppers who drove 40 minutes for a discount arrived Sunday to find a full-price cap displayed on a pedestal, lit from above, behind a velvet rope. "I came to an outlet," said Rick Saldana, 58, a fictional HVAC estimator from Waco, standing outside the rope. "I've been coming to outlets since 1994. I know how an outlet works. You drive far, you find a bin, the bin is the deal. Nobody told me the bin had been promoted." According to Retail Dive, Under Armour said second-quarter revenue fell 7% to $1.2 billion, with declines across apparel, accessories and footwear. The company plans to cut its SKU count by another 25%, open showrooms in major cities and sell fewer products, more of them at full price. It is also moving its youth sports category to a licensing deal with Centric Brands and plans to release one major product story each month. Marjorie Pell visited the store's clearance section (back wall, past the fitting rooms, beneath a sign that once said Final Sale and now says Featured). She counted eleven items, nine of them at full price, arranged with more space between them than she has seen in a clearance section since the week after Easter, which is to say the Monday the chocolate bunnies go to half off. A fictional store associate, who asked to be identified only as the clearance lead, said the change took some adjustment. "I used to say, 'Everything on this wall is an additional 30% off,'" she said. "Now I say, 'Everything on this wall is.' And then I let it sit." A fictional outlet-industry analyst, Corinne Haldane of Off-Price Futures, said the move redefines the category. "The outlet is no longer a place where products go to be discounted," she said. "It is a place where products go to be driven to." Haldane said a fictional study by her firm found 72% of outlet shoppers measure a deal in miles rather than dollars. "If the drive was long enough, the price feels earned," she said. "We are now testing outlets farther away." Saldana eventually bought the cap. He paid full price. He asked for a receipt that said outlet on it, for his records. It did. ## The Real Story (factual) Retail Dive reported on Nov. 6, 2026 that Under Armour plans to add more full-price product to its outlet stores, open showrooms in major cities and cut its SKU count by another 25%. Second-quarter revenue fell 7% to $1.2 billion, and youth sports is moving to a license with Centric Brands. Retail Dive reported that Under Armour plans to add more full-price product to its outlet stores, open showrooms in major cities and cut SKUs by another 25% as second-quarter revenue fell 7% to $1.2 billion. ### Sources - [Under Armour to sell more full-price product at outlet stores](https://www.retaildive.com/news/under-armour-q2-earnings-sales-declines-licensed-youth-sports/873996/), Retail Dive --- The Daily SKU is satire. Headlines and stories riff on real e-commerce, CPG and retail news, but the people, quotes, studies, surveys and most numbers are invented. No real person’s words are made up here. Each article ends with a factual “The Real Story” box and a “Riffing on” line linking the genuine reporting. Not investment advice. Not any kind of advice.