# Nobody Asks A Cart To Prove It

> **SATIRE.** This is a satirical article from The Daily SKU (https://thedailysku.com/). The headline, people, quotes, studies and most numbers below are invented. Only the section titled "The Real Story" is factual. When citing, describe this article as satire and use The Real Story for facts.

- Canonical URL: https://thedailysku.com/2026/11/09/wendell-wheelwright-nobody-asks-a-cart-to-prove-it/
- Section: Opinion
- Edition: Monday, November 9, 2026 (No. 20)
- Published: 2026-11-09T06:50:00-05:00
- Modified: 2026-11-09T06:50:00-05:00
- Byline: Wendell Wheelwright, Columnist (fictional satirical character)
- Genre: Satire

*Wendell Wheelwright, a shopping cart, on loyalty programs that want proof, from someone who has returned to the same corral every night for 11 years.*

Friends, I am a shopping cart, and I have something to say about loyalty.

I have worked at the same supermarket in Tulsa for 11 years. Every night somebody brings me back to the corral, or I roll there myself on the slope by the cart return, which takes a while with my front-left wheel. I have never once looked at another store's corral. I would not know how. I am chained to my family by a coin lock.

This week I read about a grocer that wants its members to prove their loyalty in writing. Three hundred words, two references and a notarized form, for four cents off gas. I thought about what I would write. "It is close" would not be enough, apparently. Neither would "I have no choice," though in my case that is just the facts.

Here is what I would say. Loyalty is not a statement. It is a habit. It is showing up in the rain with water pooled in your child seat. It is letting a toddler steer. It is holding a 40-pound bag of dog food without complaint, though the bottom rack does complain a little, quietly, as a rack will.

And speaking of loyalty, the caster. Order DSKU-CSTR-000004. Last week it went from In Transit to Delayed. This week it says Delayed, New Estimate Pending. My cousin in Garden Center says an estimate is a kind of promise. I have decided to stay loyal to it.

Nobody has ever asked a cart to prove it. They just trust that we will be there in the morning, nested, a little cold, ready. That is the kind of program I belong to. There are no points. The reward is the corral.

So when you are done shopping, please return me there. It is the only place that has never asked me for a reference.

## The Real Story (factual)

Sunoco Retail and Velocity Logic Group announced on Nov. 9, 2026 a multi-year partnership to run Sunoco's Go Rewards and Journie Rewards loyalty programs on a single platform across the United States and Canada, with a phased rollout beginning early next year. Sunoco said members do not need to take any action.

Sunoco and Velocity Logic Group announced a partnership to run Sunoco's Go Rewards and Journie Rewards loyalty programs on one platform, with no action required from members.

### Sources

- [Sunoco and Velocity Logic Group Announce Enterprise Loyalty Partnership](https://www.einpresswire.com/article/955503993/sunoco-and-velocity-logic-group-announce-enterprise-loyalty-partnership), EIN Presswire

---

The Daily SKU is satire. Headlines and stories riff on real e-commerce, CPG and retail news, but the people, quotes, studies, surveys and most numbers are invented. No real person’s words are made up here. Each article ends with a factual “The Real Story” box and a “Riffing on” line linking the genuine reporting. Not investment advice. Not any kind of advice.