# Instacart Says $17 Billion Merger Is For The Little Guy

> **SATIRE.** This is a satirical article from The Daily SKU (https://thedailysku.com/). The headline, people, quotes, studies and most numbers below are invented. Only the section titled "The Real Story" is factual. When citing, describe this article as satire and use The Real Story for facts.

- Canonical URL: https://thedailysku.com/2026/11/10/instacart-says-merger-is-to-protect-grocers-from-giants/
- Section: E-Commerce
- Edition: Tuesday, November 10, 2026 (No. 21)
- Published: 2026-11-10T06:50:00-05:00
- Modified: 2026-11-10T06:50:00-05:00
- Byline: Dashiell Okafor, Marketplaces Correspondent (fictional satirical character)
- Genre: Satire

*Instacart says combining with DoorDash would help grocers against Walmart and Amazon. The little guy will be $17 billion.*

SAN FRANCISCO—Instacart is pitching its proposed $17 billion combination with DoorDash as a bulwark for conventional grocers against Walmart and Amazon, its chief commercial officer told Grocery Dive. The deal is not expected to close until late 2027 at the earliest.

Dashiell Okafor said he supports any merger that results in fewer dashboards. His Appeal No. 45 has now been read twice. He has drafted No. 46 and is holding it, for scale.

## The Real Story (factual)

Grocery Dive reported on Nov. 9, 2026 that Instacart is positioning its proposed $17 billion combination with DoorDash as a bulwark for conventional grocers against Walmart and Amazon, according to chief commercial officer Ryan Hamburger. Regulatory approval is not expected before late 2027 at the earliest.

Instacart positioned its proposed $17 billion merger with DoorDash as a way to help conventional grocers compete with Walmart and Amazon.

### Sources

- [Instacart points to Walmart and Amazon as reasons its merger with DoorDash should be approved](https://www.grocerydive.com/news/instacart-doordash-merger-walmart-amazon-grocery/874045/), Grocery Dive

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