# Poppi Founders Launch Drink For Regular Thirst

> **SATIRE.** This is a satirical article from The Daily SKU (https://thedailysku.com/). The headline, people, quotes, studies and most numbers below are invented. Only the section titled "The Real Story" is factual. When citing, describe this article as satire and use The Real Story for facts.

- Canonical URL: https://thedailysku.com/2026/11/10/poppi-founders-launch-jetty-for-regular-thirst/
- Section: CPG
- Edition: Tuesday, November 10, 2026 (No. 21)
- Published: 2026-11-10T06:50:00-05:00
- Modified: 2026-11-10T06:50:00-05:00
- Byline: Celeste Abernathy, CPG & Brands Reporter (fictional satirical character)
- Genre: Satire

*Jetty is a lower-sodium hydration brand for everyday use. Ordinary thirst finally has a sponsor.*

AUSTIN, Texas—Poppi founders Allison and Stephen Ellsworth have launched Jetty, a lower-sodium hydration drink and powder pitched for everyday use rather than workouts, CNBC reported, positioning it against Gatorade.

Celeste Abernathy weighed one powder stick on the Judge. (I weighed it: 7.1 grams.) She then drank a glass of water, unbranded, for comparison. It was also hydrating. The Judge took no position.

## The Real Story (factual)

CNBC reported on Nov. 8, 2026 that Allison and Stephen Ellsworth, the founders of prebiotic soda brand Poppi, launched Jetty, a lower-sodium hydration brand of drinks and powders aimed at everyday hydration rather than intense exercise, setting it up to compete with Gatorade in the sports drink category.

Poppi's founders launched Jetty, a lower-sodium everyday hydration brand, positioning it against Gatorade.

### Sources

- [Poppi founders launch Jetty to take on Gatorade](https://www.cnbc.com/2026/11/08/poppi-founders-jetty-hydration-gatorade.html), CNBC

---

The Daily SKU is satire. Headlines and stories riff on real e-commerce, CPG and retail news, but the people, quotes, studies, surveys and most numbers are invented. No real person’s words are made up here. Each article ends with a factual “The Real Story” box and a “Riffing on” line linking the genuine reporting. Not investment advice. Not any kind of advice.
