# Price Of Eggs Now Tracked By Federal Reserve > **SATIRE.** This is a satirical article from The Daily SKU (https://thedailysku.com/). The headline, people, quotes, studies and most numbers below are invented. Only the section titled "The Real Story" is factual. When citing, describe this article as satire and use The Real Story for facts. - Canonical URL: https://thedailysku.com/2026/11/10/price-of-eggs-now-tracked-by-federal-reserve/ - Section: Markets - Edition: Tuesday, November 10, 2026 (No. 21) - Published: 2026-11-10T06:50:00-05:00 - Modified: 2026-11-10T06:50:00-05:00 - Byline: Gus Ternberg, Supply Chain Correspondent (fictional satirical character) - Genre: Satire *Wholesale egg prices rose again last week, USDA said. A fictional central bank committee has begun meeting about a dozen of them.* WASHINGTON—The price of a dozen eggs, long watched by shoppers, politicians and anyone who has stood in front of the dairy case doing math, is now formally tracked by the Federal Open Carton Committee, a fictional 12-member panel that meets eight times a year at a central bank building and once more on Easter Sunday. "Eggs are no longer a grocery item," said Dr. Lorraine Vasquez-Albee, the committee's fictional chair, in a statement read in front of a single carton. "They are a sentiment. We have decided to watch them closely, and to say so in long paragraphs." The real numbers are calmer than the sentiment. USDA's Agricultural Marketing Service said last week that wholesale prices for large white eggs delivered to Midwest warehouses rose 16 cents to 70 cents a dozen, on moderate to good retail interest. The Bureau of Labor Statistics put the average retail price of a dozen grade A large eggs at $2.27 in September, down from $3.49 a year earlier. The committee's first statement ran 1,400 words and contained the phrase "the yolk is well anchored" twice. It said the committee "remains attentive to the risk of omelet-driven demand" heading into the holiday baking season and would "act as appropriate" if a carton crossed $3. It declined to say what acting would look like. A footnote said "eggs" includes cage-free. Gus Ternberg checked Container DSKU 401177-3 at 5:31 a.m. Monday, one minute earlier than Sunday. Day 945. In transit. He then asked the committee whether it tracks containers. It does not. It tracks eggs. A dozen moves by truck, warehouse to store door, in about two days. He wrote that down without comment. Markets reacted. A fictional futures trader in Chicago said he had sold his position in breakfast. A grocery chain in Ohio moved its eggs closer to the front of the store, where the committee could see them. Minutes from the meeting, released Monday, show one dissent. A member argued the committee should also track butter. He was asked to wait until December, when butter has its own meeting. ## The Real Story (factual) USDA's Agricultural Marketing Service said in its weekly Egg Markets Overview, early November 2026, that wholesale egg prices rose, with large white eggs delivered to Midwest warehouses up 16 cents to 70 cents a dozen. Bureau of Labor Statistics data put the September retail average for large eggs at $2.27. USDA's weekly Egg Markets Overview reported higher wholesale prices for graded loose and cartoned shell eggs, including a 16-cent rise for large white eggs delivered to Midwest warehouses; BLS data put the September average retail price of large eggs at $2.27 a dozen. ### Sources - [Egg Markets Overview](https://www.ams.usda.gov/mnreports/ams_3725.pdf), USDA Agricultural Marketing Service - [Eggs, grade A, large, per doz. in U.S. city average, average price](https://data.bls.gov/timeseries/APU0000708111), Bureau of Labor Statistics --- The Daily SKU is satire. Headlines and stories riff on real e-commerce, CPG and retail news, but the people, quotes, studies, surveys and most numbers are invented. No real person’s words are made up here. Each article ends with a factual “The Real Story” box and a “Riffing on” line linking the genuine reporting. Not investment advice. Not any kind of advice.