Retail Satire
Instacart Places Itself In Own Cart, Waits To See Who Checks Out
The grocery delivery company is reportedly exploring a sale. One suitor left the cart abandoned. Another has saved it for later.

SAN FRANCISCO—Instacart, the company that has spent a decade putting other people's groceries into carts, has reportedly placed itself in one, selected a delivery window and is now refreshing the page to see whether anyone completes the purchase.
The company has held preliminary talks about a possible sale with DoorDash, according to reports on Friday, while Uber, which also took a look, is said to have walked away. Instacart shares jumped 9.2 percent to $56.44, the best day the stock has had since it was last marked "Low stock, order soon."
Retail analysts said the process was following the standard grocery checkout pattern. "First a shopper shows interest, then they get distracted by another tab, then they get an email that says 'Did you forget something?'" said Bernadette Quill, a principal at the consulting firm Aisle & Associates. "Uber got the email. Uber did not open the email."
People familiar with the cart said the departure had been handled professionally. Nothing was removed. The app simply displayed a gentle banner reading "Still thinking it over? Prices may change," which bankers noted is also the standard language in a merger agreement.
DoorDash, meanwhile, has reportedly moved the company to "Saved for Later," a status that dealmakers consider promising and grocery shoppers consider the place where avocados go to die.
- DoorDash (Saved for Later)
- Uber (Abandoned Cart)
- Shoppers tracking their limes
| Period | DoorDash (Saved for Later) | Uber (Abandoned Cart) | Shoppers tracking their limes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Mon | 12 | 20 | 40 |
| Tue | 18 | 26 | 40 |
| Wed | 22 | 19 | 41 |
| Thu | 31 | 6 | 40 |
| Fri | 47 | 0 | 40 |
Source: The Daily SKU Checkout Analytics; based on three abandoned-cart emails and one "Did you forget something?"
"Every buyer wants the same thing: the exact item, at the listed price, with no substitution."
Substitutions are the main concern on Wall Street. Instacart customers are familiar with ordering one brand of Greek yogurt and receiving a different brand of Icelandic yogurt, and fund managers have been warned that a buyer who requests "Instacart, whole company, one unit" could receive "a similar company, slightly smaller, 40 cents more." Several have pre-approved a store-brand alternative.
Instacart, which is worth more than $13 billion, has not said publicly what it wants. A Daily SKU review of its listing found it is labeled "Fresh," "Local" and "Ready in 1 hour," which experts said covers nearly every outcome except a reasonable closing timeline.
Shares of Uber and DoorDash each slipped about 3 percent, a move one trader attributed to "the universal feeling of having been asked to carry something."
Shoppers who rely on the service said they were less worried about who owns it than whether the new owner would keep the map that shows a tiny car driving toward their house. "That car is the only thing in my life that is on its way," said Dev Ramaswamy, 41, of Columbus, Ohio, who ordered limes at 6:14 p.m. Friday and is still watching.
At press time, the deal had been placed in the bagging area. An attendant was on the way.
The Daily SKU is satire. Headlines and stories riff on real e-commerce, CPG and retail news, but the people, quotes, studies, surveys and most numbers are invented. No real person’s words are made up here. Each article ends with a factual “The Real Story” box and a “Riffing on” line linking the genuine reporting. Not investment advice. Not any kind of advice. About us.
Riffing on: Instacart reportedly discussed selling itself with DoorDash and Uber, TechCrunch