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Marketplaces Satire

Area Man Sells Drawer Of Cables, Learns What They Were

eBay's gross merchandise volume grew 15% to $23.2 billion. The buyer of one drawer of cords sent back a 14-page explanation.

Based on real news: eBay Inc. Reports Third Quarter 2026 Results (eBay Inc.)

Illustration of a black desk drawer pulled open with a shipping box inside overflowing with tangled pink and purple cables, chargers and adapters, one strange cable rising out of the knot
The drawer, packed for shipping. Cable nine is somewhere in there. It is not the one sticking up. Illustration: The Daily SKU

SAN JOSE, Calif.—A Sacramento man who sold a desk drawer of unidentified cables on eBay for $11.40 learned on Friday, through a 14-page message from the buyer, exactly what each of them was for, and has not been the same since.

"Cable four charged a camcorder I gave away in 2012," said Glen Mattox, 58, a fictional insurance adjuster. "Cable nine powered the router I currently own. I have been looking for cable nine since March. I sold it to a man in Delaware."

The buyer, a fictional collector who goes by CordiallyYours, said he buys mystery cable drawers as a hobby and reports back as a courtesy. "Every drawer tells a story," he said. "This one said he owned a label maker in 2007 and was very proud of it."

Cable four charged a camcorder I gave away in 2012…

Contents Of The Drawer, Per The Buyer's ReportShare of 41 cables by what they turned out to power
0%13%25%38%50%Devices given awaybefore 201444%A label maker, 200722%Things he still owns17%Other cables12%Unknown, load-bearing5%
Contents Of The Drawer, Per The Buyer's Report
Devices given away before 201444%
A label maker, 200722%
Things he still owns17%
Other cables12%
Unknown, load-bearing5%

Source: The Daily SKU Marketplaces Desk; a 14-page message from a buyer named CordiallyYours

eBay said this week that third-quarter gross merchandise volume rose 15% to $23.2 billion, or 16% on a foreign-exchange-neutral basis, and that revenue rose 14% to $3.2 billion. Earnings were $1.11 a share, or $1.51 on a non-GAAP basis.

Mattox has since bought cable nine back for $14 plus shipping, which he described as "a 23% return for the other guy, before shipping, which I also paid." His router is working again. He has started a new drawer.

The Marketplaces Desk notes that the transaction took 11 days from listing to regret. Separately, Appeal No. 43 on behalf of Okafor Vintage Calcs was denied at 7:02 a.m. Friday with the usual template. Appeal No. 44 was filed at 7:03 a.m., citing eBay's 15% growth as evidence that people are buying old things again, including, presumably, calculators. The automated reply thanked him for his continued interest.

The 14-page message ended with the last item in the drawer, a short gray cable with a connector nobody could identify. "I don't know what this one is either," the buyer wrote. "I'm keeping it. I think it's load-bearing."

Dashiell Okafor covers marketplaces, and his seller-account appeal is entering its seventh year.

More on eBay

Terms in this story: GMV

The Daily SKU is satire. Headlines and stories riff on real e-commerce, CPG and retail news, but the people, quotes, studies, surveys and most numbers are invented. No real person’s words are made up here. Each article ends with a factual “The Real Story” box and a “Riffing on” line linking the genuine reporting. Not investment advice. Not any kind of advice. About us.

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Riffing on: eBay Inc. Reports Third Quarter 2026 Results, eBay Inc.