Retail Satire
Sur La Table Lets You Buy A Pan In Installments
The kitchenware chain now offers Affirm payment plans online. The Dutch oven expects to outlive the loan.
Based on real news: News Briefs - Oct 29, 2026 (Chain Store Age)
SEATTLE—Sur La Table said customers can now pay over time through Affirm for most items shipped from its website, with biweekly or monthly plans starting at 0% APR, according to Chain Store Age. "People do not build a kitchen all at once," said Elton Graham, the retailer's chief marketing officer.
I financed a truck once. Sixty payments. Never a pan. Same rule applies: pay it off before it rusts.
I will outlive the payment plan by about 40 years…
A fictional enameled Dutch oven in a store window said it was flattered to be financed. "I will outlive the payment plan by about 40 years," it said. "Most things in here will."
More on Affirm · Sur La Table
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Riffing on: News Briefs - Oct 29, 2026, Chain Store Age