Retail Media Satire
Coca-Cola Splits Its Media Business Between Agencies, Who Agree To Share It Like Two Straws In One Bottle
Omnicom takes North America. WPP keeps most of the world. Everyone involved says the arrangement is very refreshing.

ATLANTA—The Coca-Cola Company has divided its global media business between two of the world's largest advertising groups, an arrangement that people familiar with the process described as "two agencies, one bottle, and a strict agreement that nobody blows bubbles."
Under the new structure, Omnicom will handle media planning and buying in the United States and Canada, replacing Publicis there, while WPP's Open X keeps global media outside North America, Japan and South Korea, plus global creative. The changes phase in starting Dec. 1.
Agency executives greeted the news with the dignified joy of people who have spent a pitch season saying the word "integrated" more than 4,000 times. "We are thrilled to partner on a brand that has made the world a little more connected, one fizzy can at a time," said Pierce Langholm, a fictional chief growth officer who was not involved but issued a statement anyway, out of habit.
"Every agency wants the account. No agency wants to be the one who explains the polar bears to procurement."

Industry observers said splitting a marquee account by geography is common, and that the trickier divisions are internal. One rival agency was reportedly asked during its pitch which straw it would prefer. It said both, which is why it is a rival agency.
Brand managers at smaller beverage companies watched the reshuffle with envy. "We also have an agency of record," said Harlan Fiskett, marketing director of a fictional regional root beer. "It is my nephew. He has a TikTok. When he gets a girlfriend we lose half our reach."
Media buyers noted the North American transition lands right as holiday ad budgets are being finalized, which one described as "handing someone the steering wheel while the car is in a drive-through." Coca-Cola, for its part, said the setup is meant to bring media, data, CRM, loyalty and creator work closer together.
At press time, the account team had begun the ceremonial first meeting, where both agencies agreed the brand is iconic, then spent 40 minutes on who gets the corner office in the shared deck.
The Daily SKU is satire. Headlines and stories riff on real e-commerce, CPG and retail news, but the people, quotes, studies, surveys and most numbers are invented. No real person’s words are made up here. Each article ends with a factual “The Real Story” box and a “Riffing on” line linking the genuine reporting. Not investment advice. Not any kind of advice. About us.
Riffing on: The Coca-Cola Company Selects Agency Partners to Accelerate the Future of Marketing, The Coca-Cola Company