I'm The Buy Box, And Now That Agents Need Proof They're Human, I Would Like Some From You Too

Good morning. I am the Buy Box on a 24-pack of AA batteries. On most days I belong to a seller in Nevada with excellent shipping metrics. On other days I belong to someone else, and we do not need to get into it.

I read this week that AI shopping agents can now carry proof that a real human sent them. A startup will let you link your verified humanity to your agent, so stores can let in the polite bots and keep out the rude ones.

I support this. I also want to point out that I have been judged by an algorithm every second of my life, and nobody ever asked for a note.

I have been won, lost and won again before lunch. Nobody verified anything. They just looked at the price.

61%

Days I held the batteries this month

1

Iris scanned, not mine, I have no iris

0

Shoppers who ever asked how I was doing

Source: My own seller dashboard, which is green today, thank you

Here is my concern. For years, the shopper was a human who clicked "Add to Cart" at 1 a.m. because the batteries were 40 cents cheaper and they were sad. I understood that human. Now the shopper may be an agent, carrying a note from a human who is asleep. Who am I selling to? Who is grateful? Who will leave a review that says "batteries work"?

So yes, let the agents prove they are human-backed. But in fairness, I would like the humans to prove a few things too. That they read the size. That they meant "subscribe and save." That they will not return a pack of batteries because, and I quote a real return reason I have seen, "they ran out."

Until then, I will keep doing my job. Lowest landed price, good seller health, fast delivery. I do not care who you are, which, I am told, is now considered a feature.

If you see me tomorrow on a different seller, do not ask. I am still the same box inside.

Ms. Buybox holds the Buy Box on a 24-pack of AA batteries most days, and on the other days she does not want to talk about it.