Chocolate Up 13 Points? My Friend, Compare At.

My friend. Let me tell you about value. According to The Hershey Company, North American candy prices were up about 13 points in the third quarter and volume was down about 11. Some people see a problem there. I see a price that has found its confidence.

I am a 40-percent-off tag. I have been stuck to a sweater, a lamp and, one summer, an inflatable pool. I know what a price is worth, which is whatever the number above me says it used to be. Compare at. Always compare at.

Celeste Abernathy, who writes for this newspaper and owns a kitchen scale she calls the Honorable Judge, has asked me again for receipts. I want to be clear. The original price was real. It existed in a very specific moment, which I am not at liberty to disclose, in a very specific store, which has since been remodeled.

• "What was the original price?" (changed subject) 52%
• "Is this really a deal?" (compare at) 23%
• "Where are the receipts?" (Celeste, again) 15%
• "Can I use a coupon?" (not my department) 10%

Questions I Get, And How I Handle Them

"What was the original price?" (changed subject)	52%
"Is this really a deal?" (compare at)	23%
"Where are the receipts?" (Celeste, again)	15%
"Can I use a coupon?" (not my department)	10%

Source: Percival Markdown's own records, which he says exist

Abernathy has weighed a bag of fun-size bars and found it exactly as heavy as it claims.

Now, my friend, think about Halloween. Tonight a child will knock and you will hand over a fun-size bar. You will not check the price. You will not ask what it cost last year. You will simply give. That is the spirit I try to bring to retail every day.

Net sales were up 3%. Fewer bars went out the door and more money came in. If you put a little tag on that, it practically sells itself. I would put myself on it. I would say 40% off. I would not say off what.

Ms. Abernathy has weighed a bag of fun-size bars and found it exactly as heavy as it claims. I congratulate her. Some of us are judged by our weight. Some of us are judged by our story. Compare at.

Mr. Markdown is a 40-percent-off price tag. He appeared in Edition No. 2. More from Percival Markdown ›

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