Supply Chain Satire
Amazon Delivers Avocado During Its Seven Minutes Of Ripeness
Amazon says fresh groceries and essentials grew about three times faster than the rest of its store. One avocado arrived exactly on time.
Based on real news: Amazon records rapid growth in grocery delivery (Grocery Dive)

SEATTLE—Amazon's same-day network delivered a single Hass avocado to a doorstep in Renton, Wash., at 6:14 p.m. Thursday, inside the fruit's seven-minute window of ripeness, according to a fictional company logistics planner, ending a search that produce scientists say has been underway since the avocado was first sold.
The delivery comes as Amazon's grocery business accelerates. Fresh groceries and everyday essentials grew roughly three times faster than the rest of Amazon's store in the third quarter and made up about half of the units it sold, Grocery Dive reported. Gross sales of perishables and everyday essentials came to nearly $250 billion over the past year, and Prime members' monthly same-day fresh grocery orders more than tripled, the company told investors. Amazon is also expanding 30-minute delivery and a new Whole Foods Market format, Daily Shop.
"We did not set out to solve the avocado," said Corinne Vashti, a fictional Amazon ripeness routing manager in Kent. "We set out to deliver faster. Around minute 31 of the pilot, we noticed the avocado was waiting for us."
"Around minute 31 of the pilot, we noticed the avocado was waiting for us."
The fictional Institute for Produce Timing defines the window as beginning when the fruit first yields to gentle pressure and ending when it becomes guacamole without being asked. Its survey of 1,800 fictional households found that 71% have never eaten an avocado at its peak, 22% saw one once, at a wedding, and 7% believe the window is a myth spread by people who own a ripening bowl.
| Avocado | 7 min |
|---|---|
| Pear | 2 min |
| Banana | 660 min |
| Tomato, on counter | 1,440 min |
Source: The fictional Institute for Produce Timing; the pear figure is theoretical, as no living person has observed it
I asked how Amazon did it. Routing. I asked what else. More routing. The planner said the order was placed at 5:51 p.m., picked at 5:58 and handed to a driver who had been briefed, in writing, not to stop for anything.
The customer, Lorna Pike, 44, a fictional Renton homeowner, said she ate it at the door. "There was no time to get a plate," Pike said. "The driver stayed to make sure. He told me he has seen what happens if you wait."
Amazon is now piloting delivery of bananas in the period after they stop being green and before they develop spots, a window the institute measures at 11 hours, which planners described internally as "luxurious." Tomatoes have been deprioritized. The pear, whose window has never been confirmed by direct observation, remains under study by a team of four.
Analysts said the program shows how much of the grocery race now comes down to minutes. "Ten years ago you bought a hard avocado and hoped," said Teodor Banks, a fictional produce analyst in Fresno. "Now hope is a delivery option, and it has a cutoff time."
I checked Container DSKU 401177-3 at 5:38 a.m. Day 938. In transit. By my count, which I did twice, it has now been in transit through 192,960 avocado windows. None of them were delivered to it.
At press time a second avocado, ordered at 6:21 p.m., was scheduled to arrive Saturday at 4:02 a.m., when it is expected to be perfect and the customer is expected to be asleep.
More on Amazon · Whole Foods Market
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Riffing on: Amazon records rapid growth in grocery delivery, Grocery Dive