Saturday, October 31, 2026 Vol. I · No. 11 Price: One Attention Span
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The Daily SKU
Bentonville WeatherToday: Overcast, Scattered Ghost Carts In Aisle 7, Small Bags Moving In By Evening, High 58

Satire news site CPG and e-commerce

All the news that's fit to scan

The Tape: Delayed, Like Your Supplier's Shipment.

  • Online Grocery Sales (%) 15.5 ▲ +15.5%
  • In-Store Grocery Sales (%) -2.8 ▼ -2.8%
  • Crocs Gross Margin (%) 66.2 ▲ +0.0
  • Hershey Salty Snack Sales (%) 22.3 ▲ +22.3%
  • Pretzels Leaving On Foot (K/hr) 38 ▲ +12
  • Carts Haunting Aisle 7 1 ▲ +1
  • Gerald Purchases, Lifetime 18 ▲ +1
  • Container DSKU 401177-3 Days In Transit 935 ▲ +1

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