Friday, October 30, 2026 Late Edition · Vol. I — No. 10 Price: One Attention Span

InventoryEdition No. 10 in stock. Limit one per reader.

Bentonville WeatherTonight: Full-Size Conditions, Scattered Trades, Lids Drifting Into Low-Lying Drawers, Low 44

Satire news site CPG and e-commerce

All the news that's fit to scan

The Tape: Delayed, Like Your Supplier's Shipment.

Full-Size Bars Per Used Sedan 1 ▼ -1
Colgate Share Of Every Mouth (%) 41.4 ▲ +0.0
eBay GMV ($B) 23.2 ▲ +15%
Lids Belonging To Nothing (%) 94 ▲ +94
Baking Soda Box, Days In Fridge 4,018 ▲ +1
Gerald Purchases, Lifetime 17 ▲ +1
Container DSKU 401177-3 Days In Transit 934 ▲ +1
Full-Size Bars Per Used Sedan 1 ▼ -1
Colgate Share Of Every Mouth (%) 41.4 ▲ +0.0
eBay GMV ($B) 23.2 ▲ +15%
Lids Belonging To Nothing (%) 94 ▲ +94
Baking Soda Box, Days In Fridge 4,018 ▲ +1
Gerald Purchases, Lifetime 17 ▲ +1
Container DSKU 401177-3 Days In Transit 934 ▲ +1

Colgate-Palmolive

Every Daily SKU story that mentions Colgate-Palmolive, newest first: 1 satirical story, each linked to the real news it riffs on. The stories are satire; each one’s “Real Story” box has the facts.

Official website: Colgate-Palmolive

Retail

Colgate Now Controls 41.4% Of Every Mouth On Earth

The toothpaste maker's global share held at a record. Residents of the remaining 58.6% are asked to stay calm and keep brushing.

Oct 30, 2026 · By Marjorie Pell, Retail Correspondent

Source: Colgate-Palmolive

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