Saturday, October 31, 2026 Vol. I · No. 11 Price: One Attention Span

InventoryEdition No. 11 in stock. Limit one per reader.

Bentonville WeatherToday: Overcast, Scattered Ghost Carts In Aisle 7, Small Bags Moving In By Evening, High 58

Satire news site CPG and e-commerce

All the news that's fit to scan

The Tape: Delayed, Like Your Supplier's Shipment.

Online Grocery Sales (%) 15.5 ▲ +15.5%
In-Store Grocery Sales (%) -2.8 ▼ -2.8%
Crocs Gross Margin (%) 66.2 ▲ +0.0
Hershey Salty Snack Sales (%) 22.3 ▲ +22.3%
Pretzels Leaving On Foot (K/hr) 38 ▲ +12
Carts Haunting Aisle 7 1 ▲ +1
Gerald Purchases, Lifetime 18 ▲ +1
Container DSKU 401177-3 Days In Transit 935 ▲ +1
Online Grocery Sales (%) 15.5 ▲ +15.5%
In-Store Grocery Sales (%) -2.8 ▼ -2.8%
Crocs Gross Margin (%) 66.2 ▲ +0.0
Hershey Salty Snack Sales (%) 22.3 ▲ +22.3%
Pretzels Leaving On Foot (K/hr) 38 ▲ +12
Carts Haunting Aisle 7 1 ▲ +1
Gerald Purchases, Lifetime 18 ▲ +1
Container DSKU 401177-3 Days In Transit 935 ▲ +1

MoonPay

Every Daily SKU story that mentions MoonPay, newest first: 1 satirical story, each linked to the real news it riffs on. The stories are satire; each one’s “Real Story” box has the facts.

Official website: MoonPay

AI & Agents

AI Agent Given 300,000 Stores, Asks For Allowance

AI agents can now shop more than 300,000 businesses on Whop. The buyer still approves every payment. One agent has started asking nicely.

Oct 31, 2026 · By Priya Venkataraman-Lutz, AI & Agents Reporter

Source: Merchants Eye

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