Wednesday, October 28, 2026 Vol. I — No. 7 Price: One Attention Span

Bentonville WeatherToday: Partly Smart, Clearing To Plain Wire By Afternoon, High 61

Satire news site CPG and e-commerce

All the news that's fit to scan

The Tape — Delayed, Like Your Supplier's Shipment.

Smart Carts In Service 0 ▼ -100%
Plain Wire Cart Smugness 88.4 ▲ +12.6
Shelf Tag Trust Index 41.2 ▼ -6.3
Uneven Environment Mentions 11 ▲ +4
UPS Truck Legroom 31 in. ▲ +9
Throw Pillow Elevation 2.4 ft ▲ +0.3
Cereal Bags Folded Today 61.7M ▼ -0.2
Smart Carts In Service 0 ▼ -100%
Plain Wire Cart Smugness 88.4 ▲ +12.6
Shelf Tag Trust Index 41.2 ▼ -6.3
Uneven Environment Mentions 11 ▲ +4
UPS Truck Legroom 31 in. ▲ +9
Throw Pillow Elevation 2.4 ft ▲ +0.3
Cereal Bags Folded Today 61.7M ▼ -0.2

Ziploc

Every Daily SKU story that mentions Ziploc, newest first: 1 satirical story, each linked to the real news it riffs on. The stories are satire; each one’s “Real Story” box has the facts.

Official website: Ziploc

Opinion

I'm A Cereal Box, And I Have Been Folding My Own Bag Since 1987. Now They Make Them Resealable?

A guest column from Crunch McAllister, a family-size box of frosted corn flakes and Edition No. 1 alumnus, on the new resealable Cheerios bag.

Oct 28, 2026 · By Crunch McAllister, Guest Columnist (Alumnus)

Source: Food Dive

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