Kroger Unveils Plan To Become ‘America’s Favorite Grocer’ By 2029, Asks America To Please Hold

NEW YORK—Kroger this week unveiled a sweeping three-year plan to become ‘America’s Favorite Grocer,’ a title the company said it will pursue through $4 billion in annual cost savings, about 110 new stores and the careful, respectful use of artificial intelligence, and which it asked America to start thinking about now so there are no surprises in 2029.

Analysts called it the most ambitious thing a grocery chain had attempted since the invention of the impulse candy rack.

“It’s a very complete vision,” said Theresa Lomax, a consumer analyst at the fictional firm Bellwether & Crane. “There are new stores. There are 1,000 new opening-price-point items under the value label. There is a slide with a heart on it. I would describe the slide as ‘load-bearing.’”

The machines will handle the duplicates

Meetings to prepare for meetings

31%

Reply-all chains

24%

Moving slides to new template

19%

Status updates on status updates

14%

Renaming the loyalty program

10%

Groceries

2%

What AI Will Absorb at Grocery Headquarters

Item	Value
Meetings to prepare for meetings	31%
Reply-all chains	24%
Moving slides to new template	19%
Status updates on status updates	14%
Renaming the loyalty program	10%
Groceries	2%

Source: The Daily SKU Strategy Desk; not a Kroger document

The plan includes about 3,000 corporate job cuts over three years as AI takes on what the company called duplicative work. Several employees at a regional office said they had immediately begun auditing their own calendars to determine whether they were, technically, a duplicate.

“I sent a recap of the recap this morning. I think I just made myself eligible.”

Shoppers, meanwhile, said they welcomed the eightfold expansion of the Smart Way value line. “A thousand new cheap items is honestly the most romantic thing a grocery store has ever said to me,” said Dwayne Ortiz, 44, of Columbus, Ohio, examining a can whose label read only ‘Beans (Value).’ “I don’t need a favorite grocer. I need a grocer that doesn’t make me sit down in the parking lot after.”

At press time, a regional manager had been asked to present the plan to his team, and an AI had flagged the presentation as duplicative of the one he gave in New York.