Retail Satire
Boot Barn To Open 80 Stores, Outnumbering Nation's Cowboys
Net sales rose 15.1%. A rancher in Wyoming reports he is the only cowboy in four different locations.
Based on real news: Boot Barn Holdings, Inc. Announces Second Quarter Fiscal Year 2027 Financial Results (Boot Barn)

IRVINE, Calif.—Boot Barn said this week that quarterly net sales rose 15.1% to $581.8 million, with same-store sales up 1.4% and earnings of $1.73 a share. It opened 19 stores for a total of 584, plans 75 to 80 openings this fiscal year and authorized another $400 million in buybacks.
"I have been to four Boot Barns this week and I was the only cowboy in each one," said Wade Pruitt, 66, a fictional rancher outside Cody, Wyo. "Everybody else was a dentist."

I have been to four Boot Barns this week and I was the only cowboy in each one…
A fictional store manager in Nashville said the chain welcomes anyone. "We are not looking for cowboys," she said. "We are looking for feet."
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Riffing on: Boot Barn Holdings, Inc. Announces Second Quarter Fiscal Year 2027 Financial Results, Boot Barn