CPG Satire
Mondelēz Grows Organically; Cookie Checks Its Label
Organic net revenue rose 2.1%. A sandwich cookie went looking for the word on its own package.
Based on real news: Mondelēz International Reports Q3 2026 Results (GlobeNewswire)
CHICAGO—Mondelēz International said Thursday that third-quarter net revenue rose 2.3% and organic net revenue rose 2.1%, with adjusted earnings of 78 cents a share, according to the company's release.
"Organic," said a fictional sandwich cookie on a shelf in Evanston, reading its own ingredient list aloud in order. "I have looked everywhere on here. I am not sure that applies to me."
said a fictional sandwich cookie on a shelf in Evanston, reading its own ingredient list aloud in order.
Analysts explained that organic growth means growth from the existing business, not the ingredients. The cookie said that was a relief, and also a little disappointing.
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Riffing on: Mondelēz International Reports Q3 2026 Results, GlobeNewswire