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Satire news site CPG and e-commerce

All the news that's fit to scan

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  • Gerald Credit Score 812 ▲ +812
  • U.S. Retail Media ($B) $74.4 ▲ +13.7
  • Amazon Delivery Glasses 5,000 ▲ +5,000
  • Kraft Heinz Cup Stake (%) 30 ▼ -70
  • Kroger RFID Read Rate (%) 98 ▲ +98
  • Wayfair Revenue Growth (%) 9.7 ▲ +9.7
  • Muffins Reported Missing 1 ▲ +1

Marketplaces Satire

Wayfair Grows 9.7% As Nation Buys Smaller Ottomans

Revenue rose 9.7% to $3.4 billion as active customers grew and order size shrank slightly. The ottomans are fine. They are just smaller.

Based on real news: Wayfair notches 'strongest quarter of growth' since the pandemic (Retail Dive)

Illustration of cardboard boxes on a pallet, one tied with pink twine
Illustration: The Daily SKU

BOSTON—Wayfair reported its strongest quarter of growth since the pandemic, Retail Dive reported, with third-quarter revenue up 9.7% to $3.4 billion, U.S. revenue up more than 11% to $3 billion, and a net income of $62 million after a $99 million loss a year earlier. Active customers rose 4.7% to 22.2 million. Orders delivered rose 12.2%. Average order value dipped slightly.

Analysts read the last line closely. Shoppers are putting off large remodels and taking on smaller projects, according to a GlobalData analyst quoted by Retail Dive. In practical terms, fictional, the nation has stopped buying kitchens and started buying ottomans, and the ottomans are getting smaller.

"The ottoman is the new kitchen," said Bettina Grawe-Sloane, a fictional home furnishings analyst. "It is something to put your feet on while you think about the kitchen."

The ottoman is the new kitchen. It is something to put your feet on while you think about the kitchen.

What The Nation Bought From Wayfair InsteadShare of orders replacing a large remodel, fictional Daily SKU basket study
0%10%20%30%40%31%Ottoman,small24%Lamp19%Rug, sameroom15%Shelf forthe lamp11%New kitchen
What The Nation Bought From Wayfair Instead
Ottoman, small31%
Lamp24%
Rug, same room19%
Shelf for the lamp15%
New kitchen11%

Source: Source: The Daily SKU opened 400 boxes on porches with permission. Fictional. One ottoman fit inside another.

Wayfair grew its customer base without much more advertising. Ad spend rose 2.4% and fell to 9.9% of revenue from 10.6%. Its stores, including one in the Chicago area where more than half of shoppers are new to the brand, are helping. A fictional shopper in Wilmette said she went in for a throw pillow and left with a smaller throw pillow.

A seller I trust, posting on a furniture marketplace forum at 3:52 a.m., reported that her best seller this quarter was a 14-inch round ottoman. Her second best seller was a 12-inch round ottoman. "The 10-inch is coming," she wrote at 3:54. "I can feel it."

I asked marketplace support whether smaller items rank better in search. The automated reply thanked me for my patience and recommended a nesting table.

At press time Wayfair was expected to keep taking share in a roughly flat category, and one fictional living room in Columbus, Ohio, held four ottomans and no couch.

Dashiell Okafor covers marketplaces, and his seller-account appeal is entering its seventh year.

Terms in this story: AOV

The Daily SKU is satire. Headlines and stories riff on real e-commerce, CPG and retail news, but the people, quotes, studies, surveys and most numbers are invented. No real person’s words are made up here. Each article ends with a factual “The Real Story” box and a “Riffing on” line linking the genuine reporting. Not investment advice. Not any kind of advice. About us.

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Riffing on: Wayfair notches 'strongest quarter of growth' since the pandemic, Retail Dive