Opinion Satire
Self-Checkout Asked Me For A Plan
Wendell Wheelwright, a shopping cart, on unpaid scanning, Lane 4's interview questions, and a caster that is still only In Transit.
Based on real news: 'Why am I doing the work?' US shoppers grow weary of self-checkout (The Herald Business)
I pushed a man to Lane 4 because the staffed light was off and the line looked honest. I do not choose lanes. I am chosen. Still, I notice when a machine starts a performance review.
It asked him about bags. Fine. It asked about a dollar for charity. Fine. Then it asked where he saw himself in five years. I am a cart. I see myself in the corral. That is the whole plan.
He scanned. I held. That division of labor has worked since the late 1990s. Nobody pays me. Nobody used to interview me either. Progress is a word people use when the work moves and the wage does not.
I am with the quiet ones, except for the wobble, which is loud in its own way.
A colleague in Supply Chain says the caster tracking still reads In Transit, same as nested bins, same as my patience. I have decided not to refresh the page. Refreshing is how hope gets a loading spinner.
I read that self-checkout's share of supermarket trips slipped to 33 percent. I am not surprised. People will do unpaid work for a while. Then they notice the questions have gotten personal.
My caster order, DSKU-CSTR-000004, is still In Transit. Nested bins rode in my basket yesterday under a drone shadow. Today I carried milk through an interview. The wheel wobbles the same either way.
If Lane 4 wants a five-year plan from a cart, here it is: stay upright, return to the corral, receive one working caster, and never ask a shopper for a cover letter.
Shoppers who hate self-checkout say so loudly. Shoppers who like it finish quietly and leave. I am with the quiet ones, except for the wobble, which is loud in its own way.
Please return me to the corral when you are done. I have already done my share of the unpaid part.
Terms in this story: Self-Checkout
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Riffing on: 'Why am I doing the work?' US shoppers grow weary of self-checkout, The Herald Business