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THE DAILY SKU.

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Markets (satirical)
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Markets · Analytics Satire

Marketers Enjoy Week Of Record ‘Direct’ Traffic Before Learning It Was A Bug

Several had already presented the results to leadership as ‘brand strength’

NEW YORK—Marketing teams across the country spent much of October celebrating an unprecedented surge in ‘direct’ website traffic, a metric they interpreted as proof that customers had begun typing in brand URLs out of pure love, before learning that links from ChatGPT had simply stopped carrying their usual tracking tag for about a week.

“We had a whole slide,” said Brooke Haddad, director of growth at a mid-size skincare brand. “It said ‘Brand Is The New Performance.’ There was a rocket emoji. The CEO forwarded it to the board with the subject line ‘THIS.’”

Haddad said the mood shifted around October 16, when tagging returned and the ‘organic love’ began reappearing in the ‘AI referral’ column, where it has been ever since, staring at her.

Confidence of the Marketing DepartmentOct. 8–23, self-reported, 0–100
  • Confidence
  • Actual brand strength
0285583110Oct 8Oct 10Oct 12Oct 14Oct 16Oct 18Oct 20Oct 23
Confidence of the Marketing Department
PeriodConfidenceActual brand strength
Oct 85550
Oct 107150
Oct 128450
Oct 149650
Oct 169950
Oct 183150
Oct 202250
Oct 231850

Source: The Daily SKU Attribution Desk

“For seven days we were a beloved household name. Then we were attributable again.”

Analysts urged brands to annotate the affected dates in their reports, a step most marketers said they would take ‘right after’ the board meeting.

At press time, Haddad had revised the slide to read ‘Brand Is The New Performance (Methodology Note)’ in 9-point type.

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