Friday, October 23, 2026 Evening Edition · Vol. I No. 2 $4.99 (same as this morning)
THE DAILY SKU.

America’s Most Trusted Source of Untrustworthy Commerce News  ·  Overnight: scattered delivery delays, clearing in 7–21 business days

Markets (satirical)
  • Settlement Checks In Transit $100M ▲ +7–21 days
  • Trust In ‘Was’ Prices 22% ▼ -24 pts
  • Memberships Forgotten Per Household 4.6 ▲ +1.0
  • Grocers On Amazon Fewer ▼ -4
  • Beer Depletions -5% ▼ -5%
  • Throw Pillows Per Target Trip 5 ▲ +5
  • Abandoned Carts Left Alone 0 ▼ -100%
  • Grocery App Uptime Back ▲ +1 wk

E-Commerce · Returns Satire

TikTok Shop Buyers Can Now Return Impulse Purchases At Ulta, Where New Impulse Purchases Await

Box-free, label-free returns arrive at nearly 10,000 drop-off points, conveniently located near other things to buy

ATLANTA—TikTok Shop sellers can now offer box-free, label-free returns through UPS’s Happy Returns, letting shoppers drop off items they bought after watching a 14-second video at locations including The UPS Store, Ulta Beauty and Staples.

“It completes the circle,” said Brianna Okoye, 27, of Decatur, Ga., who returned a self-stirring mug at an Ulta on Wednesday and left with a $38 lip oil. “I see a thing on my phone, I buy the thing, I return the thing, I buy a different thing near where I returned the thing. It’s like a lazy river, but for money.”

“Returns used to be the end of the customer journey. Now they’re a rest stop.”

At press time, Okoye had seen a video about the lip oil and was considering buying a second one, for her phone.

The Daily SKU is a satirical publication. Names, quotes and most figures in this story are fictional; see “The Real Story” for the facts. About us.