Sunday, November 1, 2026 Vol. I · No. 12 Price: One Attention Span
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Satire news site CPG and e-commerce

All the news that's fit to scan

The Tape: Delayed, Like Your Supplier's Shipment.

  • Walmart Symbotic Commitment ($B) 6 ▲ +6
  • eBay Revenue Growth (%) 14 ▲ +14%
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  • Haleon 2026 Growth Outlook (%) 2.5 ▼ -1.5
  • Nacho Cheese Temperature (F) 140 ▲ +0
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Retail Satire

H-E-B Store To Double In Size; Shoppers Begin Stretching

H-E-B plans a 112,000-square-foot store in Ennis, Texas. Residents have started training.

Based on real news: The Friday Checkout: Instacart-DoorDash deal raises questions (Grocery Dive)

Illustration of a long stocked shelf aisle with one pink box
Illustration: The Daily SKU

ENNIS, Texas—H-E-B will build a 112,000-square-foot store in Ennis, more than twice the size of the current location, with construction starting in mid-2027 and finishing by late 2028, Grocery Dive reported.

"I walk two miles a day now," said Darlene Voss, 66, a fictional retiree. "By 2028 I will need four, just to reach the tortillas."

Illustration of an antique cash register with a long receipt
Illustration: The Daily SKU

said Darlene Voss, 66, a fictional retiree.

Voss said she has started a training plan. "Week one is produce to dairy," she said. "Week eight is the bakery and back, without stopping for samples."

Dashiell Okafor covers marketplaces, and his seller-account appeal is entering its seventh year.

More on H-E-B

The Daily SKU is satire. Headlines and stories riff on real e-commerce, CPG and retail news, but the people, quotes, studies, surveys and most numbers are invented. No real person’s words are made up here. Each article ends with a factual “The Real Story” box and a “Riffing on” line linking the genuine reporting. Not investment advice. Not any kind of advice. About us.

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Riffing on: The Friday Checkout: Instacart-DoorDash deal raises questions, Grocery Dive