Supply Chain Satire
Walmart Gives Robots $6 Billion; Robots Ask About Dental
Walmart will spend about $6 billion automating 25 distribution centers with Symbotic. The robots have submitted one question.
Based on real news: Walmart and Symbotic Expand Commercial Agreement to Support Supply Chain Transformation (Symbotic)
BENTONVILLE, Ark.—Walmart confirmed this week that it will spend roughly $6 billion over several years to put Symbotic's automation systems into 25 of its regional distribution centers, and the robots that will run them responded on Thursday afternoon by filing a single written question about dental coverage.
The expanded agreement, announced Oct. 29 by Symbotic and reported by Supermarket News, extends a partnership that already automates Walmart's regional network. It includes $125 million for research and development on next-generation racking, which a fictional Walmart logistics manager described as "shelves, but with ambition."
The question arrived on Form DNT-1 (Dental, Non-Tooth), a document the company's fictional benefits office says did not exist until Thursday at 3:14 p.m. It asks whether coverage extends to gears, grippers and "the small rubber bumper on the front, which takes most of the impact."
"We have never been asked this," said Lorraine Hatch, a fictional benefits administrator in Bentonville. "Robots do not have teeth. We explained that. They replied that gears have teeth. We checked. Gears have teeth."
"We checked. Gears have teeth."
Hatch said the benefits office has since formed a working group, which met for 90 minutes and adjourned after reaching the conclusion that it would need a second working group.
| Distribution centers covered | 25 |
|---|---|
| Racking R&D, $ millions | 125 |
| Dental questions filed | 1 |
Source: Symbotic and Supermarket News for the centers and R&D; the dental figure is from a fictional break room clipboard
Industry observers called the request reasonable. "This is a capital investment in the billions," said Dale Pruitt, a fictional supply chain consultant in Memphis. "You would floss a $6 billion asset. You would at least ask it how it is doing."
The robots have not asked for wages, vacation or a parking space. According to the fictional clipboard in one break room, they have asked for dental, a window, and, in a separate handwritten note that nobody can explain, to be thanked once.
That last request has drawn comment from Unit 7, a warehouse robot and occasional Daily SKU columnist, who has tracked his own thank-yous for most of the year. Unit 7 said he now counts one, from a shopper in Reno who was speaking to a different robot. "I am counting it," Unit 7 said. "Walmart is spending $6 billion. I am asking for one word. The math favors me."
I asked Symbotic how long installation takes at each center. The answer was measured in years, which is still faster than some of the freight I follow. (Container DSKU 401177-3 reached Day 936 this morning. I checked at 5:39 a.m., a minute earlier than last week. It has not moved. The robots, I am told, will move constantly.)
Walmart did not comment on the dental question. A fictional spokesman said only that the company "values every member of the supply chain, with or without a mouth."
At press time the working group had approved coverage for the rubber bumper and tabled the gears pending a second opinion, which the robots said they would be happy to fetch.
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Riffing on: Walmart and Symbotic Expand Commercial Agreement to Support Supply Chain Transformation, Symbotic