Satire news site CPG and e-commerce
All the news that's fit to scan
The Tape — Delayed, Like Your Supplier's Shipment.
Every Daily SKU story that mentions Walmart, newest first: 8 satirical stories, each linked to the real news it riffs on. The stories are satire; each one’s “Real Story” box has the facts.
Official website: Walmart
The retailer's holiday deals now run in three waves from Nov. 12 to Dec. 2. The day the event is named after has requested a meeting with HR.
· By Marjorie Pell, Retail Correspondent
Our columnist, a shopping cart, has worked every Black Friday since 1987. This year he would like to know who signed him up for two weeks.
· By Wendell Wheelwright, Columnist
The home improvement chain says its electronic shelf labels are for finding drills, not for sizing up customers. Aisle 14 remains under observation.
· By Marjorie Pell, Retail Correspondent
JAMBAR's organic Minis pushed the brand into 1,200 more doors. Full-size bars are said to be proud, and a little hurt.
· By Celeste Abernathy, CPG & Brands Reporter
New ‘Agent Profiles’ let shoppers set a $50 limit for a chatbot, which experts say is already more financial discipline than the household has shown since 2019
· By Priya Venkataraman-Lutz, AI & Agents Reporter
For 89 years I have carried this nation’s groceries, toddlers and regrets. Now I’m told an AI agent will do the shopping. Over my one wobbly wheel.
· By Wendell Wheelwright, Columnist
The package combines free delivery, a warehouse club, a streaming service and the quiet dread of an annual renewal email
· By Marjorie Pell, Retail Correspondent
As big retailers open their checkouts to autonomous agents, families learn the bots follow instructions exactly, which is the problem
· By Priya Venkataraman-Lutz, AI & Agents Reporter
