Brands Satire
Non-Alcoholic Beer Up 35%; Party Guests Now Remember Names
AB InBev's non-alcohol beer revenue rose 35%. A Denver host reports alarming recall among guests.
Based on real news: AB InBev says non-alcohol beer revenue rose 35% in the third quarter (Vinetur)
DENVER—AB InBev said organic revenue from its non-alcohol beer rose 35% in the third quarter while total beer volume slipped 0.1%, Vinetur reported.
"Everyone at my party remembered everyone's name," said Trent Okoro, 34, a fictional host. "They remembered what I do for work. One guest remembered my birthday. It was not my birthday. He had remembered it from last year."
Everyone at my party remembered everyone's name…
Okoro said the evening ended at 9:40 p.m. "Everyone said goodbye to everyone," he said. "It took 50 minutes."
More on AB InBev
The Daily SKU is satire. Headlines and stories riff on real e-commerce, CPG and retail news, but the people, quotes, studies, surveys and most numbers are invented. No real person’s words are made up here. Each article ends with a factual “The Real Story” box and a “Riffing on” line linking the genuine reporting. Not investment advice. Not any kind of advice. About us.
As an Amazon Associate, The Daily SKU earns from qualifying purchases.
Riffing on: AB InBev says non-alcohol beer revenue rose 35% in the third quarter, Vinetur