Saturday, October 31, 2026 Vol. I · No. 11 Price: One Attention Span

InventoryEdition No. 11 in stock. Limit one per reader.

Bentonville WeatherToday: Overcast, Scattered Ghost Carts In Aisle 7, Small Bags Moving In By Evening, High 58

Satire news site CPG and e-commerce

All the news that's fit to scan

The Tape: Delayed, Like Your Supplier's Shipment.

Online Grocery Sales (%) 15.5 ▲ +15.5%
In-Store Grocery Sales (%) -2.8 ▼ -2.8%
Crocs Gross Margin (%) 66.2 ▲ +0.0
Hershey Salty Snack Sales (%) 22.3 ▲ +22.3%
Pretzels Leaving On Foot (K/hr) 38 ▲ +12
Carts Haunting Aisle 7 1 ▲ +1
Gerald Purchases, Lifetime 18 ▲ +1
Container DSKU 401177-3 Days In Transit 935 ▲ +1
Online Grocery Sales (%) 15.5 ▲ +15.5%
In-Store Grocery Sales (%) -2.8 ▼ -2.8%
Crocs Gross Margin (%) 66.2 ▲ +0.0
Hershey Salty Snack Sales (%) 22.3 ▲ +22.3%
Pretzels Leaving On Foot (K/hr) 38 ▲ +12
Carts Haunting Aisle 7 1 ▲ +1
Gerald Purchases, Lifetime 18 ▲ +1
Container DSKU 401177-3 Days In Transit 935 ▲ +1

Liquid Death

Every Daily SKU story that mentions Liquid Death, newest first: 1 satirical story, each linked to the real news it riffs on. The stories are satire; each one’s “Real Story” box has the facts.

Official website: Liquid Death

CPG

Pop-Tarts Now Tastes Like A Can Of Water

The pastry's new orange flavor is inspired by a flavored sparkling water. A toaster in Grand Rapids has asked what it is supposed to do.

Oct 31, 2026 · By Celeste Abernathy, CPG & Brands Reporter

Source: Food Dive

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