Monday, November 2, 2026 Vol. I · No. 13 Price: One Attention Span
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The Daily SKU
Bentonville WeatherToday: Soup Weather, According To Gerald, Who Has Already Ordered Some; Clear, High 57

Satire news site CPG and e-commerce

All the news that's fit to scan

The Tape: Delayed, Like Your Supplier's Shipment.

  • Costco Food & Bev Share (%) 8.4 ▲ +0.5
  • Kroger Food & Bev Share (%) 8.2 ▼ -0.2
  • Starbucks US Comps (%) 7.7 ▲ +7.7%
  • Walmart Meal Basket, Feeds 10 ($) 35 ▲ +0
  • Albertsons Board Seats 15 ▲ +5
  • Albertsons Membership ($/yr) 39 ▼ -60
  • Container DSKU 401177-3 Days In Transit 937 ▲ +1

Placer.ai

Every Daily SKU story that mentions Placer.ai, newest first: 1 satirical story, each linked to the real news it riffs on. The stories are satire; each one’s “Real Story” box has the facts.

Official website: Placer.ai

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