Retail Satire
CVS Plans To Split Off Pharmacies
About 9,000 stores would become CVS Pharmacy, separate from Aetna and Caremark, targeted for the first half of 2028.
Based on real news: CVS Health announces intent to create two distinct leaders in healthcare (CVS Health)
WOONSOCKET, R.I.—CVS Health said Nov. 4 it intends to separate into two public companies: a healthcare solutions firm keeping Aetna, Caremark and related assets, and CVS Pharmacy with about 9,000 retail pharmacies, mail, MinuteClinic and Health100, aiming for the first half of 2028.
Marjorie Pell noted the split in a ledger margin as "two signs, one parking lot."
A fictional pharmacist counted the hours until 2028 and then counted the prescriptions instead. Marjorie Pell noted the split in a ledger margin as "two signs, one parking lot."
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Riffing on: CVS Health announces intent to create two distinct leaders in healthcare, CVS Health