Brands · Snacks Satire
PepsiCo Trims Outlook, Unveils Bold Plan To Help North Americans Remember They Like Chips
International business thrives while U.S. shoppers stare at the snack aisle ‘like it’s an ex at a wedding’
PURCHASE, N.Y.—PepsiCo lowered its full-year earnings outlook this month and announced an aggressive turnaround effort aimed at reminding the people of North America that they like chips.
“Internationally, people love our snacks. They open the bag and they eat the snack. It’s beautiful,” said Corinne Abernathy-Shaw, an independent brand strategist who said she was ‘basically on the inside, emotionally.’ “In North America, the shopper picks up the bag, reads the price, makes a small noise and puts it back. We need to get them past the small noise.”
Plans reportedly under consideration include a nationwide ‘Remember Crunch?’ campaign, aisle-end displays that play the sound of a bag opening, and a loyalty program that rewards customers for ‘thinking about chips for at least four consecutive seconds.’
“We’re not asking America to eat more chips. We’re asking America to recall, with fondness, that it used to.”
Analysts noted that revenue still grew and that the company’s international business remains strong, which several described as ‘very relatable’: a household doing fine everywhere except at home.
At press time, a test market in Dayton had reported a 3% lift in chip sales after shoppers were shown a photo of themselves at age 9.
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