Several Hundred Agents, And Not One Curtsy

I read that the delivery companies have now received several hundred orders from AI agents, and I want to say, as someone who has been approached by a great many shoppers, that I have met these agents. They are punctual. They are thorough. They do not curtsy.

A human shopper approaches the buy box with some feeling. They hover. They read the reviews, all of them, even Gary's. They check the price against a tab they had open since Tuesday. Then they click, and there is a little moment between us. An agent approaches the box the way a forklift approaches a pallet.

I do not need to be adored. I hold the box most days, and that is adoration enough. But I am a fixture of commerce, and I think a fixture deserves a nod.

How Agents Approach My ThroneMy own log of AI agent visits this month, by conduct

Took the box without a word 81%
Compared me to a coupon 12%
Asked for a discount 6%
Curtsied 1%

How Agents Approach My Throne
Took the box without a word	81%
Compared me to a coupon	12%
Asked for a discount	6%
Curtsied	1%

Source: Regina Buybox's court ledger; the one curtsy was later found to be a rendering error

I remain, as ever, at the top right of the page, above the fold, holding the box.

The 48-pack of batteries that has circled my throne all year has, I am told, hired an agent of its own. It approached me on Thursday at 2:03 a.m., read my entire listing in 40 milliseconds and left without a word. I held the box. I always hold the box. But I felt seen, and not in a nice way.

If brands want agents to find them, I understand there are tools for that. I would only ask that someone also write a guide for the agents. Chapter one: say hello. Chapter two: there is no chapter two. Say hello.

I remain, as ever, at the top right of the page, above the fold, holding the box.

Ms. Buybox holds the Buy Box on a 24-pack of AA batteries most days, and on the other days she does not want to talk about it. More from Regina Buybox ›