Retail Satire
USDA Proposes Chip SNAP Cards; Magnetic Stripe Told To Pack
A proposed rule would move SNAP EBT cards to chip and tap-to-pay to fight skimming. The stripe is taking it hard.
Based on real news: Proposed Rule: SNAP Electronic Benefits Transfer Card Security Measures (USDA Food and Nutrition Administration)

WASHINGTON—The USDA has proposed requiring states to move SNAP EBT cards to chip and tap-to-pay technology, and retailers to accept them, to curb benefit theft from skimming and card cloning, according to the agency's proposed rule. Comments are open until Dec. 22.
"I've been swiped since the '90s," said a fictional magnetic stripe, reached in a wallet in Dayton. "I know I'm easy to copy. I just thought we had something."

said a fictional magnetic stripe, reached in a wallet in Dayton.
A fictional card reader in Toledo said it has been ready since 2015 and has been "waiting with its little light on."
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Riffing on: Proposed Rule: SNAP Electronic Benefits Transfer Card Security Measures, USDA Food and Nutrition Administration