Supply Chain Satire
Walmart Feeds Ten For $35; Turkey Not Consulted
Walmart's holiday meal basket has 26 items, 18% more than last year, including a turkey at 97 cents a pound. The turkey has questions.
Based on real news: Walmart dishes up holiday meal deal (Grocery Dive)
LONG BEACH, Calif.—Walmart unveiled a holiday meal basket that feeds 10 people for $35, and the frozen turkey at its center, priced at 97 cents a pound, has asked through a fictional representative whether anyone plans to tell it what the other 25 items cost.
The 2026 basket holds 26 items, 18% more than last year's, Grocery Dive reported, including a 10- to 16-pound Butterball turkey plus private label sides and pumpkin pie ingredients. New this year are Jiffy corn muffin mix, whipped topping and sweet potato casserole ingredients. Walmart calls it the lowest-priced one-click basket in the program's history. It is sold in stores and online through Dec. 24.
"I'm not upset," said the turkey, through Glenda Furrow, a fictional poultry advocate in Fayetteville. "I understand rollbacks. I just want to know why the whipped topping got a press release and I got a price per pound."
said the turkey, through Glenda Furrow, a fictional poultry advocate in Fayetteville.
Supply chain specialists call a 26-item one-click basket a logistical feat. "That is 26 SKUs moving in formation," said Ambrose Teague, a fictional fulfillment analyst in Memphis. "The cranberry sauce must arrive with the stuffing. The crust must arrive with the pumpkin. If one item is late, the meal is late, and so is the family, and so is the uncle."
I checked the tracker at 5:39 a.m., as I do. Container DSKU 401177-3 is on Day 937. Its status says in transit. When I asked Teague whether a container could still be in transit after two and a half years, he said yes, "if it's carrying next Thanksgiving." I wrote that down. I have started to believe it.
A fictional survey of 300 households found that 58% plan to buy the basket, 22% plan to buy it and add a second turkey "for confidence," and 20% intend to argue about who hosts until Dec. 24, when the deal ends.
At press time the turkey had been placed in the basket, counted as one item and filed a request to be counted as at least four.
More on Butterball · Jiffy · Walmart
Terms in this story: Private Label · SKU
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Riffing on: Walmart dishes up holiday meal deal, Grocery Dive