Retail Satire
Loyalty Program Asks Customer To Prove It
Sunoco is moving its rewards programs to one platform, and members need do nothing. At one fictional grocer, members now need to do everything.
Based on real news: Sunoco and Velocity Logic Group Announce Enterprise Loyalty Partnership (EIN Presswire)

TOLEDO, Ohio—Members of the FreshPerks rewards program at Hollis Family Markets, a fictional 14-store grocery chain in northwest Ohio, were notified Sunday that scanning a membership card at checkout will no longer be accepted as evidence of loyalty. Beginning Monday, members must prove it.
"For years we took the card at face value," said Brenda Kosloski, the chain's fictional vice president of member devotion. "A customer would hand it over and we would simply believe them. Looking back, that was naive."
Under the revised program, outlined in a 22-page member agreement, each shopper must submit a 300-word statement explaining why they shop at Hollis ("in your own words, no coupons attached"), two references from other grocery stores confirming the member has not been seen there, and a notarized Form LOY-4, Affirmation of Exclusive Intent. Members who have looked at a competitor's weekly circular in the past 90 days must disclose the circular by name.
For years we took the card at face value. Looking back, that was naive.
The change comes as retailers rework their rewards programs. Sunoco said Monday that it has signed a multi-year partnership with Velocity Logic Group to run its Go Rewards and Journie Rewards programs on a single platform across the United States and Canada, with a phased rollout beginning early next year. Sunoco said members do not need to take any action, and that existing points balances and rewards will carry over without interruption.
At Hollis, members need to take a great deal of action. Approved members earn FreshPerks Devotion Status, which carries a reward of 4 cents off one gallon of fuel at a partner station 31 miles away, or a free 8-ounce fountain drink, no ice. Status must be renewed quarterly, in person, with eye contact.
300
Words in the required loyalty statement
2
References from stores the member has never visited
4
Cents off one gallon, upon approval
Source: Source: Hollis Family Markets Member Integrity Office, Form LOY-4. Fictional. Member ID DSKU-LOYAL-000001, status: Under Review.
Marjorie Pell applied Saturday at the store on Monroe Street (customer service, front left, beside the propane exchange). She has shopped there twice a week since 2009, which she documented with 17 years of receipts kept in a shoebox. The application came back Sunday morning marked Incomplete. Under Section 6, Reason for Loyalty, she had written "It is close." A reviewer had circled it and added: "Close to what?"
"We are not asking for much," Kosloski said. "We are asking for commitment. A customer who only wants groceries can get groceries anywhere. We want a customer who wants us."
A fictional loyalty consultant, Graham Pettibone of Retention Ethics Group, said the industry has been heading here for some time. "First it was a punch card. Then an app. Then an app that wanted your birthday," he said. "The logical next step is an app that wants to meet your parents." In a fictional survey Pettibone conducted, 61% of loyalty executives agreed that points are "a transactional relationship," and 23% said they "want to be chosen."
Early results have been mixed. Of the 2,410 members who received the notice, the chain said 38 submitted complete applications, 11 were approved and one, a fictional retired machinist named Walt Dombrowski, was approved with honors after submitting a 1,400-word statement and a photograph of himself standing in Aisle 3 in every season.
"I've given that store thirty years," Dombrowski said. "It's nice to finally be asked." He redeemed his reward Sunday afternoon. The fountain machine was out of cups.
Pell wrote the episode into the Ledger, volume 2, page 1, line 3: "Loyalty card, Hollis, Nov. 8. Asked to prove it. Could not." She plans to reapply in the spring, which in the grocery calendar begins the week the marshmallow chicks arrive, which is to say January.
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Riffing on: Sunoco and Velocity Logic Group Announce Enterprise Loyalty Partnership, EIN Presswire